HUMOR: Recall on all tree pictures after discovery reveals wrong tree used

Kate Taylor

by Kate Taylor ’11, Lens Section Editor

All tree pictures must be returned to Upper School Administrative Assistant Mrs. Andi Mapes by the end of the week. Dr. Gregory Martin, Academic Dean, discovered that the pictures had actually been taken at the wrong tree. The correct tree is located approximately 100 yards to the left of the wrong tree.

Dr. Martin made the horrific discovery while perusing back issues of The Scroll to find student pictures for a new section of the CCDS Archive. Coming across tree pictures, he immediately noticed that something wasn’t quite right. “The older tree pictures have a different background than the ones taken in recent years,” he said. “The older tree pictures provide a stunning view of the pond next to the soccer fields, instead of the simple fir trees that appear in the background of recent pictures.”

After discussing the matter with the three division heads shortly after the discovery, Dr. Robert Macrae, Head of School, decided that all photos must be recalled so the mistake can be corrected as quickly as possible. He made a One-Call message to parents at 3 a.m., hysterically notifying them of the immediate danger. “As this is a crisis situation, it is of the utmost importance that students return their photos,” he said.

Dr. Macrae also sent out an all-school e-mail to ensure that everyone received the message and to clearly explain the emergency. “We want a school steeped in tradition. That student pictures are being taken at the wrong tree does not exemplify one of our most important values. In addition, the more picturesque background provided by the correct tree illustrates our love of nature and environmental issues,” he wrote.

Mrs. Stephanie Luebbers, Head of Upper School, noticed another discrepancy between the two trees. “The wrong tree has very rough bark, while the right tree is much smoother. We want a school that is welcoming and friendly. This is not displayed in the pictures of children standing next to a mean-looking tree.” She insists that this calamity must be resolved. “This disaster must rickety-rickety game break up right now,” she announced at assembly.

The wrong tree would like to make a statement to the student body through his agent: “To be honest, I was tired of small children hugging me and kicking me. I am glad that after so many years of false identity, the discovery has finally been made. I will be leaving for L.A. to engage in a more serious modeling career.”

Re-takes will be in

March. Signs will be put up to direct students to the correct tree so as to not have this life threatening mistake repeated.

Photo courtesy of CCDS and altered by Kate Taylor

SBB