How To Take the PSAT Without a Calculator: A Timeline


By Will Beyreis ’20, Lighter Fare Section Editor

6:00 AM – Forget your calculator.

7:15 AM – Realize you have forgotten said calculator.

7:45 AM – Nonchalantly mention it to some of your friends to gain their pity while inwardly regretting not packing it the night before.

8:15 AM – Begin the PSAT.

8:30 AM – Realize you are taking the English portion of the PSAT and that your calculator would not have been helpful.

8:31 AM – Relax.

10:55 AM – Begin the No-Calculator portion.

10:56 AM – Widen your eyes in a silent scream of terror.

10:57 AM – Attempt to self-motivate while your subconscious looks down on you with mild disappointment.

11:02 AM – Realize the first few questions are quite easy and that the PSAT can, in fact, be done without a calculator.

11:03 AM – Feel empowered and bolstered by the revelation of moments ago.

11:20 AM – Arrive at a problem that clearly requires a calculator.

11:21 AM – Panic.

11:23 AM – Attempt to finish the test anyway.

11:41 AM – Surrender to the inevitable.

11:42 AM – Pray.

11:43 AM – Escape from reality as you accidentally fall asleep at your desk.

11:45 AM – Awaken to aforementioned reality as your test booklet is taken away.

11:47 AM – Alert your mother to the events of 6:00 AM.

11:48 AM – Endure light ridicule.

11:50 AM – Complain to your friends about the events of the previous 4 hours.