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Faculty Celebrity Crushes

Roshan Chandrakumar

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By Roshan Chandrakumar ’17, Sports Section Editor

Everybody has one. Some aren’t so proud to admit it. Others are looking for any chance to profess their love. They’re people that we will likely never meet, but deep down we yearn for them–celebrity crushes. Without further delay, The Scroll presents: Faculty Celebrity Crush.

Mr. Faulhaber – Jennifer Aniston

“She’s sooooo hot!”

 

Mr. Miller – Kaley Cuoco

Every physicist’s dream.

 

Madame Hecker – Harrison Ford and Denzel Washington

Mr. Fossett – Storm Large

 

 

Senora Robitaille – Jimmy Fallon

 

Ms. Floyd – Liam Neeson

 

Mr. Neugebauer – Katie Aselton

“Sometimes I wish she was my wife.”

 

Mr. Christiansen – Kerri Russell

 

Mrs. Christiansen – Josh Hartnett

 

Senora Castro – Hugh Grant and Denzel Washington

 

Mr. McGivern – Anthony Hopkins

Hmmm.

 

Mr. Black – Barack Obama and Jennifer Lawrence

“Who’s your celebrity crush?”

“Obama”

“No, like someone you think is cute.”

“Still Obama.”

 

Ms. Brand – Josh Ritter (Singer)

 

Dr. McCall-Rosemund Pike

 

Senora Suarez – Justin Timberlake

 

Ms. Phillips – Jesse Williams

“It’s his personality.”

 

Ms. Luebbers – Colin Firth

 

Mr. Baker- Pam Anderson

 

Ms. Thornberry- Ryan Gosling

 

Mr. Milmoe- Padma Lakshmi

 

Mr. Tracey-Miller – St. Vincent

 

Dr. Tyrrell – John Adams

Necrophilia?!?

 

Mr. Dunn – Catwoman

“Which Catwoman?”

“I don’t know.”

 

Mrs. Dunn – Newt Gingrich

“Donald Trump. No Al Gore. Uhhh… Newt Gingrich.”

Not a fan of the small hands I’d presume.

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Faculty Celebrity Crushes