By Will Beyreis ’20, Lighter Fare Editor

On my recent travels in France, I had the honor of tasting some of the best dihydrogen monoxide the world has to offer. As Alsatian minerals danced on my tongue and a high-speed train rocketed fellow students and I from Mulhouse to Colmar, we reflected on the delectable elemental metals and eau minerale naturelle that sat still in our bottles, unperturbed by the minute rocking of the train.

“Water in France is just… better,” Brian Butler aptly observed as he took another sip of his Vittel, a 33cl (11.5 oz) bottle of which costs €2 ($2.40). Why would one pay so much for water, you ask? Because it is so refined, so balanced, that the imbiber becomes by association more refined and balanced as well.

A new wave of mental sophistication and clarity of mind took hold as the crisp, cool, mountain water descended my esophagus. I was relaxed, enlightened, and at peace with myself in the universe. Some might attribute my sentiments to my sleep-deprived and jet-lagged state after an overnight flight to Paris, but French artisan water will always hold a dear place in my heart.