Compiled by Holly Dayton ’13. Written by Holly Dayton ’13, Lens Section Editor; Caroline Gentile ’13, News Section Editor; Annie Nesbitt ’13, Arts and Entertainment Section Editor; Shashank Jejerikar ’13, Contributor; Meg Lazarus ’13, Contributor; Will Bernish ’13, Contributor

Have you ever read a course description and been surprised at how it did not represent at all the class you just took? Well, the Scroll writers are here to help you out by describing for you the real classes you can take at CCD, for better and for worse.

Language:

AP Spanish

AP Spanish with Señora Robitaille is an easy course, if you like grammar exercises. But who does? The class is spent speaking solely in Spanish, and you must be ready to be called on due to Señora’s “eyes in the back of her head”. She makes you a fluent speaker while also drilling parts of speech into your brain. You may start to dream in Spanish—don’t panic. Also, don’t be surprised the first time she gives you a bewildered look and lets out a trademark “Woah, woah, woah!” It doesn’t mean you’re failing: it means you just made your first of many unintentionally perverse jokes in Spanish. Keep up the good work. Expect 1 hour of homework every night and make sure you study for the only two tests she gives during the year. Prerequisites: Pre-AP Spanish with Señorita Castro, ability to be “punny” in Spanish, time to do grammar, passion for her favorite animal: the Dragonfly.

Pre-AP French

The pre-cursor to AP French, this class tests one’s ability to read, write, and speak in French. On some days, Madame Kairet may even treat you to an in-depth description of French history, or a discussion of the meaning of life and death. You’ll also get to read some quality French literature, such as The Count of Monte Cristo and Oscar and The Pink Lady (which is, in all honesty, one of the best books I’ve ever read for school). Though the homework load can get high and you’ll probably get a few 3/10s on quizzes, your knowledge of the French language and culture will definitely improve. Plus, your grade is based graded 1/3 on class participation, so if you stumble through a few grammatically-incorrect phrases every day your grades won’t be too bad. Prerequisites: Some form of French II and previous experience with Mme Kairet highly suggested.

Math:

Geometry

Geometry with Mr. Faulhaber is an incredible course. Incredible because of the amount of times you will be yelled at for apologizing when you would get an answer wrong on homework. So, do not apologize. Incredible because you will not understand proofs until second semester. Incredible because of the amount of graph paper you used to draw small triangles could wallpaper Buckingham Palace. Get ready for a lot of loud sighs and maybe a few tears while doing the homework. Expect 45 minutes of homework each night, depending on how quiet your class was (might be an hour, but only if you have an Alex Brady in your class). If you were an Algebra person, you will be lost for quite some time. Prerequisites: a good sense of humor, an ability to raise your hand. However, no math experience offered at CCD before freshman year will get you prepared for this class.

AP BC Calculus

AP BC Calculus is an extremely challenging and frequently magical class for senior students (unless you’re “that junior” who wormed their way in) that pushes them to their mathematical boundaries. Students will remember how to derive derivatives, learn how to integrate integrals (via differentiating differentials), and know how to put on an engaged, yet comprehending, façade so that Mr. Plummer does not call on them. Students will experience cycling periods of confused terror and laughter (but mostly confused terror) as they are asked to use the Mean and Intermediate Value Theorems, explain math jokes, and please reconsider their perfectly wrong answers. The giver of all bonus points, Mr. Plummer, will not hesitate to reassure the students that they are completely and undeniably wrong. Students will also learn important life concepts, such as the meaning of happiness when their tests are scored on the AP scale. Remember: it’s okay to cry. Prerequisites: Honors Pre-Calc with recommendation, extraordinarily high self-esteem.

History:

AP United States History

This course teaches students American history from the formation of the continent to the present day in the space of a few short months. Because of the enormous scope of the subject matter, this course is incredibly rigorous and challenging. Sophomores desirous of taking this course should be warned it has been known to cause physical illness in previous students who have suffered from over-study, sleep-deprivation and the general weakening of a nervous system that comes from hunching over Norton. Nonetheless, if you know you can live with four hours of sleep some nights and getting some less than stellar grades on essays (you can improve on a 4…right?), the education you receive is worth it. Those in Mr. Fossett’s class will contend his teaching of the course is superior, but Mr. Carr’s students respectfully disagree. Regardless of who teaches, this intense course, if you survive it, will more than prepare you for any college you could attend. Prerequisites: discipline enough to force yourself to study for hours, Norton, Amsco, and a very large cup for coffee and/or tea.

Honors Modern European History

This course is structured around two major concepts: the major developments in Western Civilization from 1300 to the present, and labyrinths. Students will receive substantial readings for homework, and will be involved in extensive and interesting discussions revolving around said readings during class – well, for most of class. In order to keep up with the heavy workload, students must learn to master the art of starting Mr. Black off on a tangent. By engaging your teacher in riveting stories about his scintillating early years, students will learn the inner workings of the fascinating mind that is Merle “the Pearl” Black. Furthermore, this course stresses a solid understanding of concepts. Three in particular dominate the class: the rise of the individual, the relationship between the individual and the state, and the genius that is Michelangelo. If a student is ever in doubt during one of the many in class essays, he or she can always fall back on regurgitating these concepts on said essay. The greatest of these essays is the infamous Sophomore Paper, a ten page monster due near the end of the year. Students are recommended to start this gargantuan project the night before it is due, and finish it the next day (it works . . . trust me). Such a tactic will engender within the students the crucial skill of working under pressure and within a set time frame; nothing builds character like scrambling to add in Sophomore Paper citations fifteen minutes before the paper is due. Prerequisites: Lots of time on your hands coupled with a knack for procrastination.

English:

Honors English 10

This AP-geared British literature course taught by Mrs. Dunn will be sure to make your life a living hell. In reading such classics as Pride and Prejudice, Tess of the d’Urbervilles, Macbeth, Othello,

Frankenstein, Lord of the Flies, and Great Expectations, you will learn to appreciate the small, meticulous details and highlight the vocab words that you find in the nightly 80-page readings, as they will most certainly be on the next day’s infamous reading quiz. Despite the terror of Mrs. Dunn’s spur-of-the-moment questions that you won’t know the answer to and get embarrassed in front of the whole class, the sundry plethora of vocab words will greatly augment your prolixity. The class is ultimately extremely worthwhile and will help you succeed in both AP English and life. Unfortunately, it is a truth universally acknowledged that unless you are Holly Dayton, you will undoubtedly suffer for the entirety of September (until you get the hang of it) and fail a few reading quizzes. Prerequisites: a thick skin, a lack of functioning tear ducts, and an extremely advanced photographic memory.

Science:

Earth Science

The non-honors track of science starts here and leads to Biology, Chemistry, and Physics. Nowadays, Dr. Franzosa teaches a class that is much different than the class that Dr. Borrero (more commonly known as Señor Francisco) taught last year. You will probably learn about volcanoes, rocks, and water levels if you choose to pay attention. Although many classes will feel inanely repetitive (after all, how many types of metamorphic rocks can there possibly be?), you will learn things that make great conversation starters when you attempt to talk to adults (i.e. “Have you heard about the rising of the Little Miami aquifer?) The best part of the class will be having the satisfaction of knowing that the other kids in your grade that chose the take Honors Freshman Bio/Chem don’t get to play with water and different thicknesses of sand in every lab. Prerequisites: the ability to not fall asleep in class, the ability to dig holes in sand, and the ability to tell the difference between a green rock and a brown rock.

Regular Physics (with Mr. Miller)

‘Physics’ is Mr. Miller’s word for ‘legal but immoral torture of seniors, juniors, and one sophomore.’ Despite his nefarious schemes, Mr. Miller will always provide an interesting and engaging class. Your class, however, will not include the glorious Class of 2011 to elevate the hilarity to a new level. Missing the awe of Asian Kevin, the movie quotes shared between Will Fritz and Mac McKee, and the antics of Robbie Pierce, your class will definitely be a struggle. But rest assured knowing that the reasonably-often-sidetracked Mr. Miller, when not teaching about the wondrous and intricate mechanics of the atom and the universe at large, will give advice for your life, along with a great story or two. Just don’t do it in class; he will notice, and he will yell at you. And if you are assigned Jupiter for the planet project, you must remember that it is incontestably big. Very, very big. Now don’t forget to do those problems! Prerequisites: a decent(ly strange) sense of humor, a thirst for glory.

AP Biology

AP Bio is not for the faint of heart. Whether you’re picking apart cat guts or spending hours memorizing one of Holly Dayton’s infamous study guides in preparation for a test, this class requires fortitude, determination, and a true desire to learn about biology. The homework load is not overwhelming, but considering Mr. Dunn’s ability to talk at a million miles an hour whether you have your notebook out or not, reading the textbook is a good idea. Also, always make sure to get the English version of the lab. Prerequisites: A friend who can email you the study guides, good hearing and freakishly expedient note-taking abilities.