HUMOR: Country Day to transition to Apple MacBooks for 2012 school year

Jules Cantor

By Jules Cantor ’11, Sports Section Editor

On January 11, 2011, Verizon Wireless announced that they were introducing the Apple iPhone in early February. On the same day, a similar announcement, yet one of greater magnitude reached the Country Day community: CCDS will switch computer providers next year. Each and every student who attends Cincinnati Country Day School is to have a MacBook by the beginning of the 2012 school year.

The announcement brings to close the tumultuous Toshiba era at Country Day. Gone are the notorious blue screens, broken clips, and overactive fans that have haunted countless Country Day students. One student, who chose to remain anonymous, explained, “This is wonderful news! I’m going to go home and drop it off my balcony, and then light it on fire. Who knows, it might even function better than it does now!” MacBooks, on the other hand, are the answer to all the disgruntled users’ problems. They are far more durable, less susceptible to viruses, and simply do not crash with the unrivaled frequency with which Toshiba tablets do. The transition to MacBooks also ends the tablet function era at Country Day. While Macs do have inking features, they will not “swivel” like the current laptops. While this might appear as a setback to some, a majority of the student body feels that the tablet function is overrated, as they’d rather type or do homework traditionally, with paper or pen. Ironically, MacBooks will be the only computers allowed on campus. At the beginning of the 2010 school year, all Macs were disabled and shut out from Country Day’s network in all locations except for a few designated “hot spots”. Now, beginning in 2012, any student seen using a Toshiba in one of the school’s “hot spots” will be reprimanded immediately. With that being said, it is clear that Country Day is committed to a unilateral computer experience on campus

One may wonder how this will be financially possible. Families have spent thousands of dollars on Toshiba tablets, and simply throwing them away seems fiscally irresponsible. However, previous tablet-owners will not have to pay a dime out of their own pocket in order to obtain a new MacBook. A national organization against malfunctioning Toshibas known as National Organization for Students who Have Imperfectly Behaving Apparatuses, or NOSHIBA, has agreed to subsidize the cost of every MacBook issued as a way to increase publicity and awareness against these faulty machines. Country Day and NOSHIBA have agreed to a contract through the 2020 school year, so for at least eight years, Country Day Students will not have to worry about losing documents, having an excessively low battery life, or dealing with a computer that simply wont turn on. Country Day may be taking a step back from serving as the epitome of a “tech school” with the tablet functions, but for its students, the announcement comes as wonderful news, long overdue.

Image courtesy of http://www.itechnews.net/2007/10/13/macbook-pro-in-24-carat-gold/