By Joey Fritz, ’10, Contributor

Trying to decide where to send your high school-age children?  Concerned about their future?  Now you don’t have to be.  Just send them to The Cincinnati Country Day School and we’ll take them off your hands for like seven hours a day!  If that isn’t convincing enough, here are 10 more reasons why your child should become an Indian:

10. The Tech Help Desk dedicated to serving our students is willing to solve yearly, monthly, or hourly Toshiba tablet problems.

9. The airport-inspired architecture of the Upper School building makes our students feel like they have a one-way ticket to “success in college and life.”

8. If there’s a tornado, you will see it coming through the windows at every corner of the building.

7. We have elevators, which faculty, staff, and people with broken legs can use whenever they want.

6. If you’re a competitive student, our small classes make it easy to find out everyone else’s grades.

5. The size of our school’s stairs demonstrates our commitment of diversity: we are completely open to students 9 feet or taller

4. The Administration’s willingness to shake each student’s hand during swine flu season is a testament to their dedication to each child.

3. Sage Dining Services, especially the stations “Splashes” and “Deli Cuts.”

2. We offer special privileges to our seniors, segregating students by age.

1. Anna-Alycia Tucker went here.  And then to Stanford.