By Roshan Chandrakumar ’17, Sports Section Editor

Everybody has one. Some aren’t so proud to admit it. Others are looking for any chance to profess their love. They’re people that we will likely never meet, but deep down we yearn for them–celebrity crushes. Without further delay, The Scroll presents: Faculty Celebrity Crush.

Mr. Faulhaber – Jennifer Aniston

“She’s sooooo hot!”

Mr. Miller – Kaley Cuoco

Every physicist’s dream.

Madame Hecker – Harrison Ford and Denzel Washington

Mr. Fossett – Storm Large

Senora Robitaille – Jimmy Fallon

Ms. Floyd – Liam Neeson

Mr. Neugebauer – Katie Aselton

“Sometimes I wish she was my wife.”

Mr. Christiansen – Kerri Russell

Mrs. Christiansen – Josh Hartnett

Senora Castro – Hugh Grant and Denzel Washington

Mr. McGivern – Anthony Hopkins

Hmmm.

Mr. Black – Barack Obama and Jennifer Lawrence

“Who’s your celebrity crush?”

“Obama”

“No, like someone you think is cute.”

“Still Obama.”

Ms. Brand – Josh Ritter (Singer)

Dr. McCall-Rosemund Pike

Senora Suarez – Justin Timberlake

Ms. Phillips – Jesse Williams

“It’s his personality.”

Ms. Luebbers – Colin Firth

Mr. Baker- Pam Anderson

Ms. Thornberry- Ryan Gosling

Mr. Milmoe- Padma Lakshmi

Mr. Tracey-Miller – St. Vincent

Dr. Tyrrell – John Adams

Necrophilia?!?

Mr. Dunn – Catwoman

“Which Catwoman?”

“I don’t know.”

Mrs. Dunn – Newt Gingrich

“Donald Trump. No Al Gore. Uhhh… Newt Gingrich.”

Not a fan of the small hands I’d presume.