By Elizabeth Miller ’15, Co Editor-in-Chief
As Co Editor-in-Chief, one of my less fun responsibilities is maintaining the website. This maintenance is made up almost entirely of dealing with the comment sections on articles. I sift through the thousands (literally) of spam comments on recent posts to find any actual comments left by actual readers. This work is rewarding in and of itself, because spammers write the darndest things. Here are responses to a few of my recent favorite comments:
- “few beautiful things, there would not be such a climate change”—Vivienne Westwood bags on “Voting for a Democrat is Like Buying a Bad Wedding Dress: The College Republican National Committee’s Attempt to Win Over Young Female Voters”
I can guarantee you that nothing in this article talks about climate change. And yes, beautiful things are totally the problem here; it’s definitely not climate change that’s destroying beautiful things.
- “I love the photo of the three girls. Nice to see little Addison smnilig .must have caught her in between ear infections! The family photo is awesome!”–Omar on “A Summer of Misogyny”
Who are you? Who is Addison? Has she recovered from her ear infections? Why can’t you spell “smiling”?
- “Call me wind because I am ablutolesy blown away.”—Hugo on “Country Day is in for an exciting (and extended) theatre season”
You, my dearest Hugo, have just won the contest for best (and most random) pick-up line in The Scroll’s comment section.
- “I was recommended this web site by my cousin. I’m not sure whether this post is written by him as no one else know such detailed about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thanks!”—weight management for dogs on “Ms. Hawkins Named New Executive Director of Breakthrough Cincinnati”
I hope that your dogs have lost some weight, but I don’t think The Scroll can help you very much with that. Maybe a doggy health website? Also, a girl wrote this article, so this is not the author you were looking for. However, your cousin does have lovely taste in websites!
- “Hello, I just wanted to tell you, you’re dead wrong. Your post doesn’t make any sense.”—le site official de Remise Louis Vuitton on “A Chicago Pizza Tour”
How can anyone be wrong about pizza? Everything about pizza makes sense except for the fact that it tastes too good to be true. Also, why does Louis Vuitton care about pizza?
- “obviously like your web site however yoou have to test the spellung on quite a few of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling issues and I find it very bothersome to inform the reality then again I will surely come again again.”—els speaking activities on “Mr. Park Gilmore to Leave After 26 Years of Inspiring, Teaching CCDS Students”
I do not think that “spellung” is our issue, however “yoou” might want to work on yours. And your grammar. And checking to make sure that your comment makes sense. I think you said something about coming back to our site though, so I guess that’s cool…
- “Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My apple ipad is now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!”—Google on “Boys’ Tennis Team Season Recap”
The things people do for 83 views on YouTube. Sorry, man…
- “Wow that was odd. I just wrote an very long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn’t show up. Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say great blog!”– emulateur 3ds pour mac on “JETS Team Places Second in UC Competition”
Sorry…? Personally, I’m very happy that your comment disappeared because it takes longer to mark long comments as spam. Also, what all were you saying in this long comment if all you wanted to say is that we have a great blog?
