By Elizabeth Miller ’15, Co Editor-in-Chief
Warning: This may be a little biased, as I am his daughter, so I am far more passionate about making Mr. Miller shave off his beloved facial hair.
I have never seen Mr. Miller with a shaven face. Neither have my older brother and sister. Mr. Miller has had his beard for the last 32 years. Here are some reasons why as a school, we need to raise at least $1000, so that he will get out his razor
at long last.
1) Change is good. How can we be sure that Mr. Miller is truly at his best right now, with his beard? For all we know, he could actually be a genius of comparable skill to Mrs. Dunn, but his silly facial hair is holding him back, masking his intelligence.
2) He is far too attached to it. Mr. Miller’s beard serves as a security blanket for him, making him brave enough to face mean and vicious seniors every day. He needs to learn how to stand up for himself and show these students that he isn’t the scared and meek teacher he appears to be, but a tough and competent instructor who knows who is boss.
3) He’s really out of practice. At Cincinnati Country Day School, our faculty and staff strive for excellence in all fields. However, Mr. Miller’s shaving skills are far below par, and that is something that he must work to improve on.
4) We’ll all get to enjoy his awkward scruff. Mr. Miller will almost certainly not stick with the clean-shaven look, so he will most likely start growing back his beard right away. And that automatically means a week or two of funny-looking patches of hair on his cheeks.
5)
He really doesn’t want to. Everyone loves making teachers do things they don’t want to do (such as getting pie smashed in their face, participating in difficult House Cup events, putting up with obnoxious students, etc.). This is just another opportunity to enjoy watching a teacher suffer. If that doesn’t make you want to donate hundreds of dollars, I don’t know what will… Except for maybe this:
6) It’s for a good cause. All of the money we raise will go towards Movember, an organization that, according to its website (http://us.movember.com/) “[supports] world-class men’s health programs that combat prostate and testicular cancer and mental health challenges.”
So let’s work together to raise $1000 (or better yet, $1500) for Movember!
