By Avery Maier ’13, Co-Editor-in-Chief

A summer is often a time to try something new—a time to climb a mountain in Alaska, a time to spend lazily relaxing by a pool, and apparently a time to entirely change one’s facial appearance.

It was a few days before school when I was talking to Mrs. Ward in her office. Suddenly Dr. Macrae’s door swung open and he, along with a man I did not recognize, walked out of his office. The man was clad in a Country Day polo, khaki shorts and strappy sandals. I assumed he was a new teacher and was very impressed he was already wearing school clothing, although I found his sandals to be a bold choice for a newbie. I smiled and began to stick my hand out to introduce myself when this man said, “Hey, Avery!! How’s your summer been?” He spoke with the voice of Dr. Gregory K. Martin.

“That man sounds exactly like Dr. Martin… but it can’t be. There is no beard and his head appears to be significantly smaller,” I thought. After about five seconds and a drop of the jaw, I finally realized this man in the strappy sandals was none other than Dr. Martin. It would be an understatement to say I had been

taken by surprise.

Though I was in severe shock, I immediately began postulating why Dr. Martin had done away with his impressive abundance of facial hair. Perhaps he had burned it off while using the pizza oven? Or maybe he had been forced to shave it after being blackmailed by Mr. Black and Mr. Fossett (his rivals in the No Shave November competition)? Whatever the reason, it must have been under some serious circumstances that Dr. Martin decided to do away with his precious beard, and I was determined to know the whole story.

Too embarrassed to ask him myself, I immediately went to the Country Day playground to find one of his children and demand to know why their father had shaved off his facial masterpiece.* I spotted Francis climbing across the monkey bars and ran up to her, eager for the answer. “Why did your dad shave his beard?” I asked. She screamed in terror and ran away.

I then called up his barber at his local barber shop and demanded the answer. Unfortunately the barber, who declined to be named, refused to answer why due to barber-client privilege.

Finally I went directly to Dr. Martin, exhausted in my attempt to avoid him in the search for the answer. He had been deep in thought and appeared to be stroking a beard that was no longer there.

I knocked on the door and asked him why he had shaved his beard.

“It got too itchy during the summer.”

So that was it. He traded an infamous Country Day facial masterpiece for personal comfort. Apparently the answer was as simple as that: he doesn’t like feeling itchy.

* Don’t call the cops yet- I didn’t actually do this.

Photo courtesy of Dr. Martin