By Claire Heinichen ’11, Lighter Fare Section Editor

So now that I am a fourth quarter senior, I get to look forward to things like getting into college, never doing my homework, and most importantly (and the one that brings me the most joy), passing on the torch of Lighter Fare Section editor. Now I’m sure you are thinking to yourself, “Writing for the humor section? That doesn’t sound like any fun at all,” which it may or may not be true, or “I’m not funny,” which you may or may not be, but hey, it looks good on a college application! But there is more to being the lead (and only) writer for the humor section than padding your college resume. In fact, there is a cornucopia of reasons why this job would be perfect for you. Because I will do pretty much anything to pass off this position, here are the reasons why I think you should most definitely apply:

1. You have a full-fledged excuse to make sassy comments at people like Co-Editor-in-Chiefs Amanda Young ‘11 and Cody Pomeranz ’11 for things like wearing the same Georgetown sweatshirts everyday or enjoying the occasional game of dreidel. In fact, you could even consider this research for future articles. Insulting people is actually part of the job.
2. You can make a list of all the things you would rather be doing than writing your article, turn it in, and get credit for writing an article (like this one).
3. You get to waste 5(ish) inches of the internet every week!
4. You get to hang out with a cool senior, like former Lighter Fare Section Editor Xanni Brown, who will tell you how cool it is to be the Lighter Fare Section Editor, and how it will bring joy to your life. Then you get to cry when they go to college and your left writing articles all by yourself.
5. You get to act super experienced and smart when The Scroll decides to do a humor issue and everyone looks to you for guidance. Although this gets semi-awkward when for the first time your absence at a Scroll meeting is noticed.
6. You get to make long lists of fun stuffs with lots of numbers and hope that

   no one reads past number five so you can say random things like “let’s get down to business to defeat the huns!” and people will still assume you are talking about The Scroll as they skim over the article they probably didn’t mean to click on.

7. You get to wonder things like what if your life was a TV show and the entire world was secretly watching and all of your friends and family are actors and everything that happens to you is staged. Although that’s not specific to Lighter Fare Section Editors. If you’ve ever seen the Truman Show you’ll be paranoid forever.
8. Mister I’ll make a man out of you!
9. And at last, after a long happy year of making fun of things/people via The Scroll, you too will be able to pass off the torch, and perhaps Young will stop sending you sassy or guilt-tripping texts. But that’s unlikely.

Note: If your interested in applying for Lighter Fare Section Editor for next year, please tell Claire. The application will be emailed out the week after spring break.