HUMOR: CCDS to rent out facilities during weekend to religious groups

Kathryn Black

By Kathryn Black, ’11, The Lens Section Editor

In an effort to raise funds and decrease the cost of tuition, CCDS has decided to rent out its facilities during the weekend. For several years now, the Horizon Church has been using the theater for worship every Sunday morning. However, Horizon will now have to stick more strictly to its 10:30 to 12:30 p.m. time slot because Head of School Dr. Rob Macrae has just approved a contract with the Isaac M. Wise Temple congregation, who is currently renovating their own building.

“We have been extremely happy with our relationship with Horizon,” said Dr. Macrae. “It has raised a lot of money for the school, and we enter this relationship with the Isaac M. Wise Temple with hopes of achieving a similarly positive arrangement.”

The Isaac M. Wise Temple will worship in the gym from 9:00 to 10:00 am. While this will force the toddler league basketball squad of the Indian Hill region to practice elsewhere, this clears up space for the Masjid Assunnah Islam community to hold services at 8:00 am in the cafeteria.

One might wonder how the members of the CCDS community are reacting to the influx of hundreds of religious worshipers into the school building every weekend.

“I love being surrounded by different religious cultures,” said Caroline Blackburn ’13. Particularly pleased that Horizon holds Sunday school in the classrooms, “I save so much money on art supplies! The glitter, paint, and glue that young Horizon worshipers leave all over the floor in rooms 201 and 202 has greatly ameliorated my stock.”

While most students either approve or have no opinion on the matter, the teachers, however, have become a bit fed up with CCDS’s role as a religious center. They complain of students coming late to their classes after having lost track of time playing hide-and-seek in the deity statues left in the Science Labs by the Hindu Temple of Greater Cincinnati.

Some parents disapprove of the Church of Scientology holding services in the senior pit. They have concerns about Tom Cruise (who enjoys ardently jumping on the stuffed leather couches, as shown on Oprah) being in such close proximity to their children. Several teachers worry that the school’s rapidly dwindling stock of chairs will be further depleted by Cruise’s Sunday morning chair jumping rampage. Outraged that most of her students now have to sit on the floor, English Department Chair Mrs. Pat Dunn said, “I can no longer see them cringe when I yell at them.”

While Dr. Macrae assures the CCDS community that this flood of religious groups will in no way affect the school’s day to day functioning, most people remain skeptical.

Photo courtesy of cafepress.com

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