By Annie Nesbitt ’13, Contributor
In the heat of the Facebook craze, the newest trend is to become Facebook married. This entails setting your relationship status to “married to _______” and also receiving the satisfaction of not having your Facebook page tell the entire world that you are single.
Most people tend to get married to their close friends. Sometimes, it’s your very best friend, and sometimes, like the case with Ilana Habib ’11 and Will Bernish ’13, you marry someone that you would never actually be in a relationship with. “[He] is my BFFL (pronounced ‘biffle’, stands for ‘Best Friends For Life’) and is a wonderful human being,” Habib said of why she married Bernish. “When he turns his head to the side, he looks like Justin Bieber.”
“I love her and she is wonderful. She has decent music taste—not as good as mine—but decent,” Bernish said. Obviously, this couple has issues that cannot be solved by Facebook, but they seem very happy together.
Other Facebook couples, such as Edwin Sam ’13 and Rachel Epstein ’14, do not end well. After less than two weeks of being “FBO” (Facebook official), Sam and Epstein split up, and although Epstein is still listed as married, but not accompanied by any name, Sam has already married another lucky girl. When asked about their get-together and then tragic split, Epstein said “there was a joke in class that escalated.”
“At first, people didn’t get the joke, so they thought we were dating. [But] when they got it, they thought it was funny,” Epstein added. Epstein was upset about the break-up. “The initial shock was pretty heartbreaking, but it was for the best,” she said. Sam was unavailable for comment.
Facebook marriage is not the only big hit—another is listing friends as your siblings, parents, or children. Some people list just a few of their closest friends, and others list up to 30 people as their sisters and brothers. Emily Polasko ’13, for example, has 12 children, 17 sisters, 9 brothers, and 9 parents.
Despite the wide arrays of family shown on Facebook, Habib argues that having an “extended” family is the lackadaisical version of getting married. “It’s like not being fully committed,” Habib said.
Bernish agrees. “Having Facebook siblings is the lazy version of marriage,” he said.
Whatever your beliefs on these strange relationships, it can be quite amusing to glance around the Facebook world and find your so-called “married” friends.
Bernish said he hopes that his Facebook marriages don’t confuse anyone. “I want all the ladies to know that I am still single, so don’t be worried.”
“I’m upset that Facebook does not encourage polygamy,” Habib said.
Photo courtesy of www.facebook.com