By Cody Pomeranz ’11, Co-Editor-in-Chief

Patricia Dunn: Merle! We get it, OK! You finally have the chance to actually feel like a Prisoner. Stop quoting lines from Patrick McGoohan.

Merle Black: Well, you know what Pat, we might never get out of here. And with that being said, I have a confession.

Madame Hecker: Oh of course you do.

Mr. Black: … I’ve always loved Tim.

Everyone: We know Merle.

Pat Dunn: Be my guest, take him off my hands.

Mr. Black: You wanna fight for him!?

Mrs. Dunn: Nah, it’s not worth it.

Mrs. Luebbers: Hey, hey, hey! Rickety-rickety game break-up!

Madame Kairet: Incroyable!

(evil laugh from the corner of the cave)

Mr. Faulhaber: Dear God, what was that!?

Mr. Fossett: It’s just Park Gilmore.

Mr. Faulhaber: Why is he laughing like that?

Mr. Fossett: He just remembered that he had brought his squirt gun with him. Wait a minute! Eldritch, what are you doing?

(Mr. Carr is on his cell phone)

Mr. Carr: What? I’m checking my E-Trade account.

Mrs. Dunn: You get service down here!?

Mr. Carr: Ya, so?

Mr. Brownstein: So call for help!! Give

me that (takes the phone and dials). Hello? Yes! We’re trapped!

Mrs. Robitaille: Are they coming?

Mr. Brownstein: Yes, but they don’t know how they’re going to get us out. There’s a hole for food and water. I’ll be at the end of the cave talking to them.

2 hours later

Mrs. Dunn: Howard, I thought you said you asked for stuff.

Mr. Brownstein: I did. (hears voice from hole). Here it is! (A box of cookies falls from the opening in the ceiling).

Mrs. Butler: Cookies Howard!?!? That’s all you asked for!?

Mr. Fossett: Did you get any snackcakes?

Mrs. Dunn: Paula calm down, do some Pogil exercises.

Madame Kairet: Vous êtes fous!!!!!!!!!! Je ne peux pas croire que je travaille avec ces fous!

Mr. Tumolo: What did she say?

Mrs. Dunn: I’m pretty sure she insulted us.

Mrs. Mapes: Okay, y’all need to calm down.

Mme Hecker whispers to Mr. Miller: Brock, is it me or does Glenn Lindahl seem unusually happy to be stuck in a cave?

Mr. Lindahl: What!? We’re in a cave!?

Mr. Miller: Yeah….weird. So does Francisco.

Dr. Borrero: Look at all these minerals!!!

……To be continued