By Jayne Caron, ’10, The Lens Section Editor
I thought I would give Scroll readers a glimpse into the life of Jayne Caron, volleyball setter, Scroll editor, and Science Olympian extraordinaire. Take this for what you will – the Bible, the Torah, or perhaps just a depressing depiction of a girl who wishes she could catch the senioritis bug.
6:00 a.m.: Alarm rings. Hit snooze. Go back to bed
6:45: Alarm has continued to ring. Mom comes in screaming. Begrudgingly get up but at least glad it’s not another snow day, when I can’t take Josie to the dog park or engage in a discussion of what is the good with Dr. McCall.
6:50: feed Josie, my dog, and take her on a walk. It is cold. I hate winter; I wish the earth could somehow be warmed… Oh wait… Global warming… This is awkward.
7:15: Go inside. It’s cold.
7:45: check Papaya Farm and harvest my cherries. It’s going to be a great day: my hen just produced a golden egg! Realize that I just screamed about a virtual golden egg and then quietly cry about the pathetic quality of my life. And then harvest my peaches.
8:00: Drive to school. Jam out to Glee. Get a strange look from a man in a car who also seems to be driving to CCDS… This is awkward, but at least this awkwardness is in harmony with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing.”
8:15: Park in the SENYA OF THE WEEK parking spot. Pretend that it’s not a big deal. Get dirty glances. Realize I am beyond cool.
8:20: Advisory with PDunn. Inform her that I didn’t do my homework. She doesn’t believe me. I’m lying.
8:25: Contemplate what the good is. Leave feeling decidedly more confused about the state of the world. Wonder if I am good. Decide that I am because I am senior of the week. Continue on with my day.
9:10: French class. Eat Belgium waffles which aren’t French but taste delicious. Contemplate the meaning of life in French and say <<C’EST…..(pause to think)….. LA….. (what’s the word)….. VIE.>> Ignoring the pauses, decide I am unbelievably profound.
10:00: Break. Skip happily to the dining terrace. Find out unhappily that there are only the crumbs of already-eaten goldfish left to scoop with an ice cream scooper. Feel morose and decide to harvest more virtual plants on Papaya Farm to feed my virtual stomach. Decide to make an apple pie out of my harvested apples, then remember that they are only pixels. Cry a little.
10:10: BC Calc. The class is a blur. At some point we were looking at pretty shapes on our calculator. Leave feeling dazed and confused and still wondering what the good is. Know only that the good is definitely not calculus.
11:00: Ghost Stories with the lights down low. Google gruesome images. Make fun of said gruesome images. Who knew murder could be this funny? PDunn laughs when I turn in my assignment; I wish I could surprise her and not do my homework. Then decide I’m senior of the week because I always turn in my homework. Victory to the overachiever!
11:50: Physics. Talk about the Rolling Stones. Roll a cart down an incline. Learn about GIFMAC, the Great International Fascist MAthematics Conspiracy. Plan to infiltrate GIFMAC and take over its ranks. Abandon said plan upon realizing that infiltration requires a thorough understanding of calculus.
12:40 p.m.: Silent tears in my head, begging Mr. Miller to let us go to lunch.
12:41 and approximately 23 seconds: LUNCHTIME!!!!!!! It’s breakfast for lunch. These tears are tears of joy.
1:05: Realize that my day is unbelievably long, I have a deadline, and I would really rather munch on these delicious French toast sticks than type out my schedule. Decide to leave my readers with a cliff hanger.
Will Jayne ever figure out what the good is? Will the hen on Papaya Farm lay another golden egg? Will the earth warm? Will GIFMAC reign supreme? Does Jayne even care?
Stay tuned not to find out.
Photo courtesy of Jayne Caron.
