10 Fun Facts About Mosquitoes

Will Beyreis ’20, Lighter Fare Editor and James Johnston ’20, Contributor

Mosquito Fact #1: All mosquitoes are left handed.

Mosquito Fact #2: Mosquito bites are just like jellyfish stings. If they start getting itchy just pee on them. Trust us, we’re professionals.

Mosquito Fact #3: Some mosquitoes know all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody and might sing if you promise to let them train your first-born child in the dark arts.

Mosquito Fact #4: If you get a lot of mosquito bites it’s probably because they all want to check out your mixtape.

Mosquito Fact #5: Mosquitoes might be level 12 warlocks, but we’re not sure.

**BONUS Alternative Fact**: Scientists have recently determined mosquitoes are really bad at classical Spanish guitar.

Mosquito Fact #5.5: Mosquitoes have their own Yelp-esque review system where they rate people’s blood 1-5 stars.

Mosquito Fact #6: Mosquitoes are really great pets for the whole family. They are also really great with kids!

Mosquito Fact #7: You can play John Coltrane instead of using bug spray because mosquitoes think jazz saxophone is for losers and they’ll leave you alone.

Mosquito Fact #8: Mosquitoes hate the taste of type AB blood and honestly who can blame them. Get it together and pick one already you AB weirdos.

Mosquito Fact #9: Mosquitoes need to drink blood so they don’t turn back into pumpkins at midnight.

Mosquito Fact #10: We’re considering starting a side business to train mosquitoes as emotional support animals and we’re looking for investors if you’re interested.

Thanks for joining us for Mosquito Facts. Keep reading The Scroll for more hearty educational content.