By Thomas Retzios ’18*, Contributor
Don’t you just love those nice quiet Christmas Eve parties with your relatives where you all sit around a crackling fire and play a board game? If you have ever met my interesting family, you know that I have no idea what a serene gathering is like. We are stereotypical Greeks. I have a large, loud family consisting of six cousins on my mother’s side. After fifteen years of being with them, I have come to understand the only ways to survive a Greek Christmas.
- Come with an empty stomach:
In any large family there is extreme competition to see who can make the best dish or cook the best steak. Come to Christmas ready to eat, unless you want your relative angry because you did not try their coleslaw-stuffed eggplant.
- Wear earplugs:
We all know that a screaming match is inevitable. Whether is over getting blue-shelled in Mario Kart or who got the last piece of pumpkin pie, the screeches will not be survivable without one thing: earplugs.
- Wear the Christmas socks your grandmother bought you:
Every year she buys them, and every year you force a smile and graciously accept them. Even though you want to throw those light-up Rudolph socks in the trash, or the depths of your closet where no one will EVER find them, debut those fuzzy light ups for this occasion.
Warning: Showing your grandmother that you actually appreciate the socks may be a risky move. Then again, she’s going to buy them regardless, so you may as well try to make her happy.
- Come prepared to be asked about every aspect of your life:
Large families love to gossip. Your mother already told your aunt about the time you backed into a mailbox trying to get out of the driveway. She also reminds your cousins that you ate a baby-sized clump of wasabi while driving down Given Road. Just remember one thing: NOTHING is off-limits. Remember these moments when you are telling your parents what happened during your day.
These four ways to survive a large family Christmas will help you make it through the holiday season with the least amount of physical or mental injuries as possible. “One [time I saw Joey throw away a $12 cupcake, and I wanted to have a physical altercation with him which results in his injury]” –Caroline Retzios ‘16
*with minor insignificant details contributed by Caroline Retzios ’16
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